Gratitute.

Today I am in a thankful mood.

I think this time next week I’ll be most likely shivering in cold while entering the latest edition of the journal in my place in Shanghai. Minquan and Yvonne were there yesterday and they have been going house-hunting today. I don’t know in the end what house they’ll manage to get for the whole lot of us, but I trust them. We were having a lot of exciting plans for the Chinese New Year holidays, and honestly speaking, if I manage to get enough days off for Chinese New Year, I’d really want to go somewhere with everyone also. After all, it’s been god-knows-how-many-years ago since I went to any part of China for that matter. But whatever it is, thanks Minquan and Da-jie for the help in sourcing a place for all of us!

Met Janice at Co-op and got a small report for some of the issues and the bugs that apparently exist in the system. Would be going back on Monday to fix whatever I can fix. Subsequently went with Kian Huat for lunch and then to the Law Library to work on the project. Come to think about it, I really appreciate Kian Huat’s help on the project, otherwise I probably would have died three times over if I were to be doing the programming, sorting out the data, and writing the user manual all by myself. For that, I must thank Kian Huat for his help.

Everyone at Comp Club was helping out with the renovation of the place just now. I did my little part by help paint one corner of the office. Would be going back tomorrow to have a chat with all of them, as they are apparently going to do some farewell for me. Come to think about it, I think it’s time to be looking for all those friends, especially those that are graduating this semester, to meet up for coffee and a chat before I go Shanghai next week. Must really thank everyone at Club who bothered to come back on a Saturday evening to do this little farewell for me.

Had a chat with Stella just now in the SCC Room and I’m glad that there’s someone out there who understands how I’ve been feeling all this while. Thank you Stella for being able to understand the pain that I was going through!

The Tiger Cup Final is a sold-out! 55,000 fans in the National Stadium – it will be quite a sight! Thank you Lions for turning Kallang alive again!

Today I really am in a thankful mood, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not unhappy with some people though. When I start to dislike someone, I normally am never in a hurry forgive them.

Eventful.

I enjoyed my day in school today. Attended the Security of IS lecture in the morning and I was so surprised that Dr. Woon recognised me, even though the last time I attended her class was one and a half years ago. I realised one thing after the lecture – this is the Computer Security module that I really wanted to take! It is going to cover the human aspects of computer security, and for someone who isn’t that technical, it is exactly what I want. I’m definitely going to take this module after I return from Shanghai next year. It would be added bonus if Dr. Woon is the lecturer for the course next year as well.

The Finance lecture was OK, though I was slightly worried by some of the Financial Accounting terms that were being mentioned. Well, I think I’ll have my work cut out in Shanghai when I take the same module. It might be a good idea to start reading on those things.

The IT Marketing lecture at the end of the day was interesting, though Prof Png was a bit boring when the lecture was being delivered. That said, I appreciate the lecture very much. And when you have so many friends taking the module together it is definitely more fun.

Spend the evening at the Comp Club chatting with people, and had a great laugh with everyone. It’s really been a long time since I had such a hearty laugh and I really enjoyed that few hours there. Me, Wai Kay and Neng Giin even came up with a song about SOC, though I’m not prepared to risk my life by listing the lyrics here. If you want to hear the song, drop an email to the usual address.

And the best piece of news has to be me being awarded the ABF. That means that I’ll have a little bit more to spend in Shanghai. That few extra quid will come in handy.

I was pondering about life on my way home just now:

The red team tells me that I should not get upset so easily and moan about everything under the sun. I should not be too harsh or overly critical on others just because I think that they deserve it. Sometimes I should take things in a different light and everyone would be happier. Being overly critical just serve to hurt others, and more often than not, such misunderstandings may lead to loss in friendship and trust, and they can be easily avoided by taking one step back.

But the blue team tells me that I’m perfectly justified in being unhappy about how things are turning out because it is not fair on me that while I’m taking something so seriously, others are so nonchalant about it. It is not fair that I have to sacrifice myself and myself only when it should be everyone in the same boat. It is not fair that my position is never being considered by others, and people take me for granted. It is just not fair.

So far the score between the red team and the blue team is tied at 4-4, and honestly speaking, I’m pretty vexed by it all. I don’t even know what I should do.

Meeting the Co-Op tomorrow – I wonder how many bugs there are. I honestly am getting very tired already. It doesn’t take a genius to see that I’m totaled. Where is the whoever who can understand me? It’s this kind of time that you really want someone to be by your side and giving you all the support you need, and when that someone doesn’t exist, the sense of emptiness just doubles, triples, quadruples…

All I want is someone to say “whatever happens I’ll be by your side supporting you” – is it really so hard to find that someone?