Discouragement.

Today was quite a defeating day for me. First of all I got told off by my HYP supervisor for not being deep enough in my thinking. The problem for me as far as the HYP is concerned is that I don’t even have a very good direction in my project. I have been trying hard to understand how to do a proper research project, but somehow I seemed to be trapped in something that I don’t know how to get myself out of. It’s not as if I don’t want to think deep enough, but I think the fact that I haven’t done a proper research project in my life before makes it a little harder, and the things that I thought of seems to be very much on a superficial surface. Perhaps I’m just not cut to be in the research line, which means that I probably have to forget about studying for a PhD or something like that.

Then I was looking at my FOCC. To be honest, I have told a lot of people that this is the biggest challenge I’ve ever had in my few years at SOC as well as the Computing Club. To be running a committee and organize about the biggest events for the faculty as far as the student population is concerned is never an easy job, and it’s made all the more difficult when I did not start running the committee from day 1. To have to pick up from somewhere and run it the way that it was run is definitely not an easy task as well. The good thing is that I’ve got some very capable people at the committee to make sure that the events will turn out well, and to be honest, I am optimistic about having a good FOCC, as long as everyone can put their efforts together to churn out a great program for the incoming freshmen. For me, since most of the event planning are underway, the only thing that I can do as a FOCC chairperson is to give them the advice, guidance and encouragement to get them to move forward. And I would really be the person that my committee people would approach when they run into problems, difficulties or confusions. I admit I may not be a very good chairperson to start with, but I hope what I lack in ability I make up for it in other areas. And honestly, I would rather have people coming to tell me about things that I should be bucking up on, because I don’t think I would have any way to see how I’m doing.

All in all today hasn’t been a very good day for me, and I hope that’s not because today was 06/06/06. Anyway my eyes are asking me to go sleep, so I shall not disobey the calls from my body. After all I have been sleeping late for way too many nights, and I don’t think that’s doing my body any good.

As I was telling Neng Giin, I think I either need a soul mate or a punching bag. Interested parties please send me a mail at the usual address.