Wisdom Tooth.

From today onwards I might be not as wise and intelligent as I used to be because I’ve gotten all my 4 wisdom teeth removed.

I went to Alexandra Hospital early in the morning, and everything was very smooth. From admission to administration to the operation to discharge, everything was done in a morning. I was there at 9.30, and left at about 1.15 in the afternoon. I can still remember when I stepped into the operation theatre at about 11 and came out at about 12.15. Even though I was under general anesthesia, I woke up pretty shortly after the operation, and managed to even joke around with the nurses at the operation theatre. Of course the anesthetic took some time to wear off, so from the journey back from the hospital to home I was feeling very tired, and I promptly concussed on my bed after taking my first round of medicine.

So far it hasn’t really been that entirely painful except when I arrived home just now. I think the painkillers are useful. Right now I kinda feel that my jaw is more tired rather than painful, and I think actually I would be able to go to school tomorrow if I really wanted to, but then again I don’t know what would happen tomorrow, so I think I would better play safe and stay at home. Well, I’ll see how it goes – if it’s really important for me to go back I think I will. If I do stay at home it would mean more time for my HYP!

Beginning to feel the effect of the medicine now, and kinda feeling sleepy – so I’m off to sleep.

Moan.

I think I’ll stop moaning about my HYP because (1) it gets boring to be moaning about the same thing day in day out, and (2) not that my moaning is going to make too much difference in the project anyway. I think I might as well try to make more effort in writing the report itself. I give myself a target of Wednesday night / Thursday morning to complete my second draft and get it on my supervisor’s table on Thursday afternoon. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll try. If I have to sacrifice sleep to do so I’ll do it.

Would be getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. Not really a good time to do so with all these work piling up, but I’ve already pushed back the date a few times already, so I think I might as well get it done tomorrow – unless they won’t allow me to (which I secretly wish that they would).

Feeling very tired today, I think I’ll go have a rest. I wrote about 6 pages for my second draft, and I think I probably have about another 20-odd to go. Two days should be about enough.

Calming down.

I’m still upset about the way my first draft was deemed as trash. So upset that I did two things:

1. Sent an email to my supervisor saying that I’m not really impressed with his choice of words. I know I risk getting hammered by him but hey, something has to be done. I don’t like his way of putting people down. I already don’t really care if I get a second upper or a second lower, so he can hammer me for all I care.

2. I went for a run.

The run didn’t exactly do wonders to my spirits, but I managed to calm down a bit and sit in front of my MacBook and try to start writing my second draft. It wasn’t easy considering the first draft was so bad that virtually the entire thing has to be re-written. Perhaps the only good thing would have been that I don’t have to re-do the entire literature review section, which is a killer, because I’ve already gotten the things that I would need to do citations. I’ve gotten the version 2 of the introduction section out, now let’s see if it is just as trashy, or slightly less trashy that doesn’t require a total re-write.

I think I might really go into a quarrel with my supervisor when I see him tomorrow. Well, 10553 words of trash. Even if he doesn’t appreciate the content he should at least appreciate the effort, right?

“Nah, your first draft is just rubbish that totally wastes my time.”

He didn’t say that to me, but I know that’s what he’s saying to himself after enduring that 10553 words worth of trash.

First draft = trash.

Got back some comments on my first draft. Just like what I expected, my supervisor thought it was trash. It didn’t really surprise me, considering he’s got this big ego about him that he thinks everyone else’s work is not worthy.

What I hate about his comments is that he doesn’t seem entirely encouraging in his words – though I never expected him to be. But why put 20 question marks when one does the job? What is he exactly trying to show me? Then he keeps on harping about the fact that this is missing, that is missing, blah blah blah… c’mon la, since when have you ever taught me how to write a HYP report? All you were saying is “go and read journal papers”… there are a million and one journal papers out there, do you expect me to read all the million of them? Every paper has a different way of presenting, so which is the right one? Instead of dishing out encouragement, he’s only good at knocking me down and make me feel trashy and worthless. Or maybe I am trashy and worthless in his opinion.

All in all, it was as good as I didn’t submit a first draft at all cos I have to rewrite the entire thing altogether.

If NUS is to lose a postgrad prospect, I’m sure the graduate division would know who to point their fingers to.

HYP First Draft Word Count.

Click on the picture for a better view:

I think that’s the first time I’ve managed to write so much.

Off to sleep – more work tomorrow.

Rest.

A brief full-day rest today as I submitted the first draft of my HYP report to my supervisor yesterday. Though I have the feeling that he isn’t exactly interested about it. Oh well.

I received a letter from NUS, or more specifically SOC yesterday and the letter was signed by Dr. Wynne Hsu, the Vice Dean for graduate studies. Guess what the letter was for – they are inviting me to do my postgraduate studies in SOC. I had a laugh and decided to put it aside temporarily. Maybe they should read my journal to realise that I’m not entirely impressed with my research experience for my HYP. Like what I’ve said, I would not want to do my postgrad in NUS because my experience in the HYP was just so bad that I’m left totally disappointed. I didn’t get the support that I was expecting – it felt almost like my project is just not important. Besides, the amount of allowance they pay postgrad students is peanuts compared to other universities (City University of Hong Kong pays HK$12860, which is about S$2500; NUS pays $1500). But whatever it is, it feels good to receive the letter – at least they think I’m probably good enough for postgraduate studies.

That said, I still haven’t really figure out what I’m planning to do after I graduate. Is it going to be more studying, or is it jumping to the workforce. It’s not just about what I want to do, but also about what my family needs are. I can’t just go into a postgraduate course without worrying about the financial impact that it would bring, even though at least NUS has promised me that I will be given the research scholarship which waives the tuition fee and provide a monthly allowance on top of that. It’s like, I may not need to pay tuition fees, but other costs in life would still need to be addressed to. I have to repay my tuition fee loan, which probably ran to a fairly high amount considering that I’ve been studying for the past 4 and a half years. Then I have to finance my old laptop which doesn’t function any more. And then I also have my flat in Hong Kong to finance, after some utterly crazy and stupid words said by my dad led to my tenant moving out. All these things need to be thrashed out before I can really decide what I want to do.

Two roads lie ahead – postgraduate studies or work? Given that I can earn some form of living doing either one, it’s a tough choice.

First Draft.

As things stand, I’m one chapter away from completing the first draft of my HYP report, though there’s nothing to be really happy or excited about because I don’t expect it to be something that I can hand in on 13 November. In fact, I am expecting my supervisor to treat it as a piece of trash, chopping it down and criticizing it until it’s next to worthless. It’s not that I’m being pessimistic, but knowing how tough a time I have with my supervisor I have already lost hope (or perhaps being more realistic) in him saying something nice about my project. I think I would be very very surprised if he actually said anything that’s soothing to the ear when I show him my first draft – which I hope to be tomorrow afternoon.

My life as an undergrad is going to be over in about 35 days… here are some of the days that I have to keep in mind – I have them all noted in my iCal.

13 Nov: Submission of HYP report in hard copy
15 Nov: Presentation for E-Commerce Business Models term project
22 Nov: Due date for E-Commerce Business Models term project
22/23 Nov: HYP presentation
27 Nov: Submission of HYP report in soft copy
1 Dec: E-Commerce Business Models exam
1 Dec: Last day as a student in NUS
Sometime in late December: Release of results, confirmation of graduation

Keeping my fingers crossed.

The Departed.

As promised yesterday, I went to Jurong Point to watch The Departed. To say that there were quite a lot of elements from Infernal Affairs would be an understatement, but that did not undo the good work by Martin Scorsese. In fact, from watching The Departed, I seemed to be able to understand more about Infernal Affairs. It was like some of the things that didn’t seem to make sense suddenly all came together. Maybe to that extent it was watching 2 shows at one go. After The Departed, the next one to watch would probably be Death Note. I think I want to watch Sinking of Japan also.

Felt pretty terrible physically in the evening with a bit of chest pain, but have to endure that to continue working on my HYP. I think my first draft of the report is about half done. The problem is the other half would probably take more thinking and plucking things from the air – though after 4 and a half years at NUS, I should be pretty good at that. We shall see.

Another long day tomorrow, and I’m supposed to have a French test, which I totally have not done any revisions on. Oh well, since I have it on S/U, I think I can take it easy. And seriously, given my flair in languages, I really don’t think I’ll get an U for it come the end of the semester.

5 more weeks to go being an NUS student – provided I pass both my HYP and my E-Commerce Business Models. The end is near, though I don’t think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet.

Perhaps Love.

No no, I’m not going to talk about that Chinese movie with the same title, instead I’m talking about the theme song of the Korean drama《宫》(“Princess Hours”). I think the song is very nice and catchy. It’s been quite a while since I last listened to any Korean songs, and it’s a refreshing change from those cheesy boybands or girlbands or Japanese-wannabes. I think the drama series itself is not too bad either – just that I don’t have time to catch them! I think I’ll probably try to lay my hands on a set of the DVDs and stay at home to watch them after my exams are over.

French lecture was pleasantly quiet today (which I was happy about), but the same can’t be said about the French tutorial. As usual, our tutor Nikolai seemed to have a knack in making fun of everyone in class. So as a mark of equality, I said “Ciao” to him instead of the more polite form of “Au revoir” at the end of class!

Went back to SOC to continue writing my HYP report. More progress – now I have 13 pages up! As much as I think there would be a lot of revisions later, it’s still good to have 13 pages up. Considering the page limit is 55, I’m about a quarter through! Now if I just work a bit harder I will get the first draft up by midweek (OK maybe not…)!

I think I’m going to watch The Departed tomorrow. Jurong Point is showing it at 11.50 in the morning, which is just nice for me. Watch movie, have lunch, go home and work on my HYP. Perfect day. Now if someone were to watch with me.

I’m having the song Perhaps Love looping on my MacBook. It’s really a nice song. A good song always lead to a good mood.

Picture of the day:

Not too sure if the Aston Villa fans are going to be too impressed with Starhub for this.

Saturday.

I have a knack of watching documentaries on National Geographic and Discovery Channel. Nowadays I always seem to be on the lookout of good documentaries to watch. I don’t seem to watch those that have got to do with animals and wildlife, but things like “Seconds from Disaster”, “Crash Scene Investigation” and the more recent one on the Bali Bombing are the ones that have me glued to the TV screen. I think I better make sure that if I were to go back to Hong Kong to work, I must have those channels on cable TV.

Went to school in the afternoon hoping to do something for my HYP. Ended up doing the project write-up for my E-Commerce Business Models module. Didn’t write a lot – about 2 pages of it and I think I was just blabbering without thinking much. At the same time also started looking around for job opportunities. Came across a few that seemed interesting and suitable enough, and I decided that I should keep track of all these possibilities – so I made an Excel spreadsheet recording all the jobs that I came across and liked, as well as the applications that I’ve sent out. So at the end of today, I added one more company to my sent list – Singapore Airlines! Of course I’m just sending for fun cos honestly I never thought about going in there. But no harm trying, right?

Felt really lazy after I got home. Maybe I’ll work on my HYP tomorrow. I’ve got the whole day at home anyway. And yup, perhaps I’ll prepare one or two resumes to send out.