Rest.

A brief full-day rest today as I submitted the first draft of my HYP report to my supervisor yesterday. Though I have the feeling that he isn’t exactly interested about it. Oh well.

I received a letter from NUS, or more specifically SOC yesterday and the letter was signed by Dr. Wynne Hsu, the Vice Dean for graduate studies. Guess what the letter was for – they are inviting me to do my postgraduate studies in SOC. I had a laugh and decided to put it aside temporarily. Maybe they should read my journal to realise that I’m not entirely impressed with my research experience for my HYP. Like what I’ve said, I would not want to do my postgrad in NUS because my experience in the HYP was just so bad that I’m left totally disappointed. I didn’t get the support that I was expecting – it felt almost like my project is just not important. Besides, the amount of allowance they pay postgrad students is peanuts compared to other universities (City University of Hong Kong pays HK$12860, which is about S$2500; NUS pays $1500). But whatever it is, it feels good to receive the letter – at least they think I’m probably good enough for postgraduate studies.

That said, I still haven’t really figure out what I’m planning to do after I graduate. Is it going to be more studying, or is it jumping to the workforce. It’s not just about what I want to do, but also about what my family needs are. I can’t just go into a postgraduate course without worrying about the financial impact that it would bring, even though at least NUS has promised me that I will be given the research scholarship which waives the tuition fee and provide a monthly allowance on top of that. It’s like, I may not need to pay tuition fees, but other costs in life would still need to be addressed to. I have to repay my tuition fee loan, which probably ran to a fairly high amount considering that I’ve been studying for the past 4 and a half years. Then I have to finance my old laptop which doesn’t function any more. And then I also have my flat in Hong Kong to finance, after some utterly crazy and stupid words said by my dad led to my tenant moving out. All these things need to be thrashed out before I can really decide what I want to do.

Two roads lie ahead – postgraduate studies or work? Given that I can earn some form of living doing either one, it’s a tough choice.