Thoughts.

It’s another boring morning – no classes, no exams to invigilate, no papers to set – basically it looks like another lazy morning for me (and I think it may continue into the afternoon unless I start to find something constructive to do).

Was reading the website of TDM and I think I have nothing but admiration for the folks there. To be able to do all those exciting things is something that I want to do, especially so after these half a year when I have almost done nothing. I came to this job, hoping to be able to do something (not just something I like, but something) but time and time again I find that things never seem to happen that way. There used to be a project that I could have been leading, but circumstances turned out that the project was called off (without my knowledge, may I add – I mean, I didn’t even get to present my idea to the people who made the decisions). Then there were other projects where I was “promised” to be part of, but somehow in one way or another I wasn’t involved again. I want to be doing something, I want to be able to do something I like to do, I want to be part of something great. But it just seemed to me that these couple of months simply didn’t turn out the way that I wished.

Facing a lot of these unmotivated students who simply can’t be bothered is something that I really didn’t expect. Initially I thought I could have the opportunity to spread some of the stuffs I learned in Singapore to them (e.g. event management, project planning, etc), but I find that they are much more interested in playing games on their NDS or PSP. To get them to be interested in something other than those games seem totally impossible.

Maybe you can say that I’m unlucky to be seeing these unmotivated people in my first job, and perhaps my opinion and views would have been different if I didn’t have to face these kids. Perhaps that’s true, but whatever it is, whenever I see the folks back in Singapore doing the things that they are doing (not just the TDM folks but also the others), I would have nothing except envy for them. If I can have some kind of “achievement” to speak of here in Hong Kong perhaps I won’t feel that way, but the fact that I don’t does make me feel more envious to them.

It’s really disheartening sometimes to have ambitions but being trapped in an environment that does not allow for these ambitions to be shown. Maybe it’s either I have to get out of this job, or fight to get something I truly want to do in my time here.

Voted.

I’ve finally gotten a vote on one of the HK discussion forums for being the worst teacher in my department. After almost 2 months of voting, it’s perhaps a bit disappointing that I only got my first vote until today, but I’m very sure after Friday, the number of votes I have will shoot up because the kids will realise that they stand no chance of passing my exam. Well, things are looking good for me in terms of votes and I’m very confident that I can overtake a lot of my colleagues!

Of course I’m being sarcastic. Nobody likes to be labeled as a bad teacher. I mean, I more or less know that I’m going to get my first vote one of these days, but that doesn’t make it any nicer for me to swallow. Actually what I’m upset about is not so much about getting that one vote. After all, I didn’t receive any formal training in education, so by right I should have gotten a lot of votes. But what really irked me was the way that the kids had demonized some of my colleagues. It’s like, just what kind of screwed attitude are these kids having? It’s like, using the Internet to tell the whole world about their teachers, what are they trying to prove? I just cannot accept the fact that they show their horrible attitudes in class, and at the same time complain about their teachers. If you tell me that you spend most of your time in class playing games, sleeping, surfing the Internet, and then say that your teachers are crap, how convincing can that be? If a teacher is good only because he lets you lot play games or do your own things in class, he’s not a good teacher – he’s not helping you, instead he’s just pushing you lot to your death.

Wake up you bunch of kids.

Tuesday.

Today is another hot day. The weather in Hong Kong is getting more and more unbearable and it’s crazy to think that it’s not even this hot in Singapore.

Was having a chat with one of the senior staffs this morning and talked about my experience so far. To be absolutely honest, this job is not too bad. It’s probably because of circumstances that I don’t get to do the things that I really want to do. If I get to stay in this job, then I definitely would want to push for something to be done. In terms of the teaching, I would say it’s OK, but I just don’t like to see some of those totally unmotivated kids. I mean, I understand their plights and all that, but that doesn’t mean that they should give me that kind of attitude in class.

One more month to my holidays!

Monday.

The first Monday without any classes. To say I enjoyed it was an understatement. Not having to get myself all worked up conducting classes. Then after these 2 weeks when the exams are over, I’m more or less free until next semester – that is if I get to stay in this job next semester.

One more month to go before I go back to Singapore for Commencement – and I think I’m getting very excited by the prospect of seeing all my friends back home. I just wonder if I don’t want to come back to Hong Kong.

Walkabout.

Went for a seminar at HQ this morning and saw a friend who’s working at LWL. The last time I met him was 2 months ago at the KT campus, so it’s nice to see him again. Had a good chat about our own individual plights, and it seemed that our frustrations and concerns are pretty similar.

The seminar itself was interesting, but I didn’t really like the way that one of the presenters delivered his speech. It’s either he felt very strongly about whatever he was talking about, or maybe that’s how he talks in real life. Oh well – not everyone is such a good presenter like me. Haha.

After the seminar, I went for a walkabout to Tung Chung with my sister and I bought yet another football shirt. This time it was a Juventus shirt which was going on sale at the Nike Factory Outlet for just $239. I thought it was worth it, so I grabbed it without much thinking. Now I just have to overcome the feeling that I would look like a zebra when I’m in that shirt. That shouldn’t be tough.

Returned to Kwun Tong to book my Taipei package and as things stand, I’ll be arriving in Taipei at about 11pm on 20 July. The trip to Taipei should be interesting. I don’t think the place would be boring. And even if it does turn out to be boring, I have a little Mayday concert to look forward to, so that’s still great. But to think that I would be at the Hong Kong airport 4 times in 2 weeks in July does make it sound a bit extravagant. Oh well.

I’ve just done my laundry, and I think I’ll go to sleep now. The weather is still too hot for comfort, but I don’t think I want to contemplate sleeping with my air-conditioner on – the electricity bill would be too frightening.