Zhua Kuang.

Zhua Kuang is a Chinese phrase (or more accurately a Taiwanese phrase as it’s more frequently used there), and it’s written “抓狂”. For those of you who know Chinese, you could probably guess from the way the words are written to see what it means (that’s the beauty of Chinese). But for those who don’t, Zhua Kuang (or ZK as I’ll shortform it from now on) means getting really upset and agitated about things. I guess everyone would go into a ZK mood every once in a while.

There are actually a lot of things I can ZK about in my daily life. Work, studies, living, etc can all be sources of my ZK-ness. Both it does appear to me that more recently my work is making me ZK more often. Like I mention many many times, I like my working environment, I like my colleagues (whether it’s mutual remains to be seen but who’s arguing), but I find that I’m getting more and more unsettled as far as my job is concerned. I somehow am beginning to not be inspired to go to work these days. It’s like, even during my busiest times earlier in the year, I would not dread the thought of going to work in the morning. But somehow lately I find that I’m just not that inspired to head to office. And when I’m at work, somewhere somehow something would contrive to piss me off. The worst thing is that I can’t let off these kind of frustration openly. Of course, handling frustrations are part and parcel of working life, but I don’t know if it’s the job or if it’s just me.

Maybe I need to find a counsellor – that’s perhaps one good thing about working in an university, that there are qualified counsellors who are available.