Upset.

Despite the title, I think I am not really like very upset.  It’s just that I’m a bit exchausted physically and mentally, and this exhaustion is making me feel a bit upset.

The exhaustion I am experiencing are multi-fold.  First of all is of course about work.  It’s not like I’m hating my job, but it’s just that there are so many things that I have to be doing that it’s getting a little stressful.  I was worried about not being able to do my work well, so I was putting quite a bit of my energy into it.  As a result, I’m getting really tired physically and mentally.  That is something that I perhaps just need to get used to.  After all, I’m about 2 months into this role and I guess this “getting-used-to” period probably is going to last a little longer.  But compared to the period when I first came into this job, I think I’m doing much better already.

The other reason that I’m getting a bit upset is actually something to do with my feelings and all that.  It’s like, I know I’m never one who could express my feelings well, so sometimes people either misunderstand, or they just don’t get it.  And sometimes I don’t know if they even know how I’m feeling, so I have a knack of trying to tell myself how the others are feeling, and many times they don’t come out well.  It’s like I would think “oh, that person is ignoring my messages, there must be something wrong with what I’ve done” or “oh, that person is not paying so much attention to me as before, something must have happened” and I get myself all stressed on these things.  Of course, I would think sometimes I’m being unrealistic as well as far as these feelings are concerned, because sometimes some of these feelings are just feelings in which the reality would probably be hard to achieve, even though they might not be entirely impossible.  I guess sometimes I ought to be a bit realistic about what I think about.  I mean, sometimes some things may look nice but they may not turn out well.  And then there will be times when things don’t look good, but there could be reasons to be optimistic.

I guess I’m writing a little more frequently these couple of days because I really have quite a bit of feeling and stress to unleash.  Anyone keen for chicken and beer this Saturday night?